Jan. 7th, 2011

[identity profile] akonken.livejournal.com
(Inspired by [livejournal.com profile] suave_steve and this song.)

I think I might be happy.

I'm not in love or anything; I'm not sure I'm - oh man, this is going to sound awful and pathetic, but screw it - I'm not sure I'm capable of loving anyone but Raph. And that sucks, on so many levels, but you know what? Life sucks. I'm used to that.

But somehow, somehow Arthur makes things tolerable. He makes things okay. He makes me laugh.

It turns out I don't deal well with that.

And now we're going away for a few days. Well...he's invited me to go away for a few days. But I believe him, at least mostly. I'm not holding my breath or anything, but...he wants to go away, with me, out of the country. I've never been out of the country in my life. Almost, a few times. Almost.

He makes me happy. And maybe it won't last forever - hell, maybe it won't last much longer now that I've told him about his biological father, and Helen's apparently finally stopped messing about with her brother - but it's good right now, and I'm trying to let that be enough.

You know what I mean by that, I think. It's the kind of thing you'd understand.

Anyway, so...I just wanted to say thanks. You've been great through all this, and I want you to know I appreciate it. And I know you'll be happy for me too.

I got this all straight in my head to tell you, but you didn't show up. I don't mind, not at all. Just...tell me that it's because you're happy too.
[identity profile] lslaw.livejournal.com
I look at the paper and I read her lies. They're kind of obvious and I know that she hasn't made any effort to conceal them. I can't say for sure if she would have succeeded, but she'd have made a sight better job of it than this.

The work is impressive, despite the gaps; the things she's hidden from me. I wonder at those; at what it is that could be so much worse than what I already know about my bio-dad? A part of me wants to know and rails against her for hiding things from me.

But...

But another part knows the reason why and is moved. The Uratha make a big thing of protecting the squishies, but it's been... maybe longer than I can remember since another human being has made a point of looking after me. I can't escape the curiosity, the need to know, but suddenly and overwhelmingly I feel a warmth welling up inside me; a sense almost of safety, of comfort.

I don't love her, but that doesn't seem so bad now; I have a natural suspicion of thunderbolts anyway. In time it may come; until then... this is good. It's warm and it's rich and exciting, and it feels good all the way to the core and it doesn't hurt.

Rome or Paris...

March seems a very long time away.
[identity profile] lslaw.livejournal.com
The Turk - drop, shake, turtle (from [livejournal.com profile] akonken)

He lies in bed, listening to the steady beat of his heart. Whup-whup-whup-whup, as the two chambers inflate and deflate in turn. He finds it distracting, compared to the barely perceptible osmotic chirr of his original heart.

The new heart is better, fashioned by Penny Dreadful, the woman who made his brain and therefore, unquestionably, a genius of the second order. It pumps more strongly, although he does dislike the shake of its alternating pump. The old one was more compact, but feeble; he often felt as though he would drop at the slightest exertion, but between the new heart and the new lungs and the new bones, he knows his capabilities to her grown.

Sometimes he wishes he could put the old heart back for the night, but it is long gone. He remembers placing it in Chip's hand, its round, domed case nestling like a turtle in the elemental's palm. The price for that was not extracted before Chip's death and he wonders if he will ever learn who killed him, so that he can determine who to bill for that loss.
[identity profile] lslaw.livejournal.com
Mr Peach - radicals, ice cream, fish (from [livejournal.com profile] yoda_ic, with apologies for ripping off Jesus Cthulhu.)

Archaeology )
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