writing_shadows

(Inspired by

suave_steve and this song.)

I think I might be happy.

I'm not in love or anything; I'm not sure I'm - oh man, this is going to sound awful and pathetic, but screw it - I'm not sure I'm capable of loving anyone but Raph. And that sucks, on so many levels, but you know what? Life sucks. I'm used to that.

But somehow, somehow Arthur makes things tolerable. He makes things okay. He makes me laugh.

It turns out I don't deal well with that.

And now we're going away for a few days. Well...he's invited me to go away for a few days. But I believe him, at least mostly. I'm not holding my breath or anything, but...he wants to go away, with me, out of the country. I've never been out of the country in my life. Almost, a few times. Almost.

He makes me happy. And maybe it won't last forever - hell, maybe it won't last much longer now that I've told him about his biological father, and Helen's apparently finally stopped messing about with her brother - but it's good right now, and I'm trying to let that be enough.

You know what I mean by that, I think. It's the kind of thing you'd understand.

Anyway, so...I just wanted to say thanks. You've been great through all this, and I want you to know I appreciate it. And I know you'll be happy for me too.

I got this all straight in my head to tell you, but you didn't show up. I don't mind, not at all. Just...tell me that it's because you're happy too.