writing_shadows

Do not stop the clocks, let the telephones ring;
Let dogs bark and the children sing.
Cry out just once, then on and up again,
To face the future, put away pain.

Everyone expects me to take your place, you know? It's a hard act to follow, the more so because I miss you myself. You were my friend, my teacher; when I began to realise that the Change was coming, I always thought it would be you who taught me to be Uratha.

And then you were gone, but not, and only time to lay these burdens on me: your axe, your pack, your sister; your legacy. Korsten said I caught your auspice as it fell; a hard act to follow indeed.

The stream shall not reverse, nor wind still its breath,
And the whispering willows say naught of his death.
His loss does not diminish half as much as his life increased;
The word is not made grey by his decease.

The Brightaxe didn't think much of me. In some ways, that actually helped; gave me something to kick against. It's always easier to succeed if people anticipate your failure; high expectations are so much harder to exceed.

And Helen... she was gone before I even joined Quiet Life. I don't know what it is about Helen that I can never be around her without feeling like a failure.

He was our strong back and our sure blade,
Our guide along a path he made.
He was brother, teacher, alpha, friend;
His presence seemed a constant, but all things end.

It was natural enough that she want you back with us, and I suppose that she must feel like I want her to forget you. It's not that, however; not at all.

The truth is, I envy her. She can say it; she can wish that you were still here. I can't, because to wish another here to shoulder the role of alpha is to fail in that role, and to fail you. I am the strength of my pack and I can not falter, lest they stumble with me.

And if I am not strength enough, what then? Why; I am their burden, and that I can not bear.

So it is hard for me to hear her say that she wishes you were there, because as understandable as it is, as much as I share her wishes, it means that I have failed.

Yet we shall bear up; we shall strike true
And find our way on a path we blaze anew.
Waste no time in wailing or thoughts all grim,
For to act is the remembrance more worthy of him.