[Mage] - 22 Potential Brides

[lslaw.livejournal.com]

My mother, bless her, is determined to marry me off, or at least have me sow and then acknowledge some wild oats (I did do that once; bought a pack of seeds and planted them in the back garden. I'm not sure that she appreciated the whimsy.) She's not bitter or angry about my failure to wed and propagate the excellent Proximal genes I have inherited, mind you; just quietly disappointed that I never hit it off with any of the girls she introduced me to.

The first was Bansi; a distant cousin from the Indian branch of the family. She was one of those meek Alexandrines whose mothers never expected them to Awaken and so taught them early that their job is to move the line forward by marrying well and having lots of children; like Patty or Edgar, although don't tell Comnena I said that about Edgar. I did myself no favours by asking if Bansi wasn't a boy's name in India. She was dull and I was due to set off on a six month dig the next morning.

Mother looked closer to home for the next few: The aforementioned Patty turned up at M2342d and complained about the cold a lot. I honestly have no idea what she expected from Tibet, but apparently not cold, so that one was going nowhere. Then there was Mona, a talented digger whom Mother invited to the house after I mentioned her a few times on my return from Tibet. If I had known that Mother would try to hook us up, I would have told her that Mona was gay, but I didn't, so I didn't, and that went as well as you'd expect.

It gets a little difficult to follow after this, I am told, since unless you can read my mind - and even if you can, I certainly don't consent to it - there is little to separate the various Hypatias, Adas and Eudocias. A family convention of naming children for famous librarians is all well and good, but without a long history of broad educational and employment equality to back it up, you tend to fall back on standards for your daughters' names. My generation are starting to use Madeleine, Golda and Andre, but it's slow going. There have been, in total, four Hypatias, two Eudocias and a staggering nine Adas on the list of my proposed fiancees (Ada having been enjoying a bit of a fad in the seventies and eighties after the family decided in their nebulous and hive-like fashion that Ada Adler had indeed been a pretty good librarian.) One of the Eudocias was a very close run, but she took against my sister and that was pretty much that. Comnena is my strong arm and my good eye and besides, it's just not flattering to learn that your intended dislikes your sister for stealing her boyfriend. Quite aside from the obviously proprietorial attitude to a relationship, it suggested a lingering flame - which is never something you want in a future life-partner - and a lack of commitment to our involvement. As for the rest, something never clicked. One of the Adas went on to Awaken and Mother cries herself to sleep over the loss of a Mage for a daughter in law, but honestly it would never have worked. She was so obsessed with 'organised fun' it was hard to enjoy myself around her at all.

Then (technically after a Hypatia, the Eudocias and three Adas) there was sweet Anastasia; effectively the Alexandrine equivalent of a Russian mail-order bride. Mother apparently wrote to the matriarch of the Eastern European family - a terrifying woman, by all accounts, who goes by the name of Karlof and reputedly chews grit to keep her teeth sharp - and asked her to send someone suitable for her son, genius and Mage-to-be. Anastasia was the result, and a darling she was too. Intelligent, thorough, witty, beautiful, with an expert eye for Atlantean artefacts and a masters in Atlantolinguistics (well, the theoretical equivalent thereof, since no actual university would award such a degree). If she hadn't turned out to be a Seer infiltrator brainwashed to spy on us unawares and reveal the locations of our libraries and athenaea around the world, I could have fallen for her in a big way, but then life is full of these reversals (I was able to identify twenty-three such incidents in the past fifty years, which while not by strict definitions 'full', is certainly a compelling trend.)

Anthony was kind of embarrassing. He seemed a decent guy, but I'm not gay (just strikingly well-dressed) and to be caught up in my mother's attempt to push me 'out' and persuade me to become a surrogate father was certainly a lot less than he deserved. Still, he was a good guy and I was pleased to be his best man when he did find someone. I hear that they're adopting, which is no doubt making his mother weep for the genetic inheritance.

Kobol was the first Mage my mother ever tried to set me up with, and the last; at least so far. Apparently Mastigos don't like it when you're smarter than them, however; or at least Kobol didn't.

And then there was Emma, who wrote me off as 'never going to Awaken', which was... not a pleasant experience. Mother is getting a little desperate, I think, perhaps because she oversold me so much when I was younger and now sees me as unsaleable. I muddle through each family gathering for her, but I can't marry for her, however often she begs me to. That's my life, and I've not met the right woman yet; maybe I never will. The only things of which I am certain are the eternal truths: I will die one day, and I will not meet my bride-to-be through my mother.