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writing_shadows2012-04-18 04:38 pm
annwfyn.livejournal.com) wrote in writing_shadows2012-04-18 04:38 pm
Entry tags:
For Caroline
I have four childer.
Two were chosen for me, and I don’t even remember their faces. Jade, I think, smelled of silk and French perfume. The other smelled of rotten wood and mouldy linen. He was my ghoul, allegedly, but I used to cook and clean for him, because I couldn’t bear the stench in the house when he didn’t. He was bored and restless, blood bound to my Sire, tied to me out of hunger and no more. I Embraced him on the night I was released, and next saw him on the night Father Gabriel Montoya killed him.
Two I chose myself.
The first of those, of course, was Dre. Dre, my beloved, monstrous child. My precious, my Paint. I found him in 1947 and kept him with me for thirty years. He was my husband, in a way, as much as Ed was, and I loved him like I loved a part of myself. But in time he grew old and it wasn’t enough for him to serve me. He didn’t want to just be a part of me, to be the blood of my blood. He wanted to be…
…something else.
Why would anyone want to be a vampire? I’ve never understood that.
But he changed and then he left and I hated him for leaving. I hated Dre, and I hated how the world had become this darker place without him there to make it bright with blood.
Have you never noticed how beautiful blood is?
I think Narissa did.
Narissa was my fourth child. Actually, my third chronologically. She’s older than Jade, who is the pretty little cat burglar that Jack decided I should Sire. He is predictable, isn’t he? She’s the second I sired willingly, the first female. Dre’s little sister (and wouldn’t he hate that?)
She’s a monster of course. I never Embrace the virtuous; whilst no rabbi has ever actually laid a prohibition down on cursing a righteous man with a nature both cursed and irredeemably impure, I can’t help but feel it goes against the spirit of my faith. My people were made, so we are told, to be a light to the Nations. You don’t do that by snuffing out goodness. So I only take those I already know to be bad in some way, to have a touch of that wrongness inside them, to be impure in a way that no mikveh could ever cleanse. But I can’t quite bear to chose the ugly ones, and so, at least to my eyes, the ones I take are always beautiful.
And Narissa is beautiful.
Maybe she isn’t beautiful physically, although I have no idea. I know she’s beautiful to me; beautiful in the pain she leaves in others; beautiful in the inks I can scent beneath the skin; beautiful in bitter clove cruelty, and velvet soft honey mead. I’ve always known she was beautiful from the first moment I caught her scent and I knew almost straight away that I wanted her.
She scares me, of course. Oh, she doesn’t know it. I don’t want her to know it. You can’t show weakness to my precious Narissa or she’ll cut you with it and smile. But then, would I have chosen her if this were not the case?
I’ve not seen her for years now. Oh, that’s normal with my childer as well. I think it’s a Riley family trait. I like to think it’s because we’re smart enough to not need too much coddling from our Sires. Dre says it’s because we’ve created a cycle of shite. I don’t know what Narissa would say on the subject, although I’m sure she’ll tell me one day. I sent her away shortly after I released her. I know she’ll return one day. They always do.
What surprises me is that lately I’ve found myself hoping that day comes soon.
Two were chosen for me, and I don’t even remember their faces. Jade, I think, smelled of silk and French perfume. The other smelled of rotten wood and mouldy linen. He was my ghoul, allegedly, but I used to cook and clean for him, because I couldn’t bear the stench in the house when he didn’t. He was bored and restless, blood bound to my Sire, tied to me out of hunger and no more. I Embraced him on the night I was released, and next saw him on the night Father Gabriel Montoya killed him.
Two I chose myself.
The first of those, of course, was Dre. Dre, my beloved, monstrous child. My precious, my Paint. I found him in 1947 and kept him with me for thirty years. He was my husband, in a way, as much as Ed was, and I loved him like I loved a part of myself. But in time he grew old and it wasn’t enough for him to serve me. He didn’t want to just be a part of me, to be the blood of my blood. He wanted to be…
…something else.
Why would anyone want to be a vampire? I’ve never understood that.
But he changed and then he left and I hated him for leaving. I hated Dre, and I hated how the world had become this darker place without him there to make it bright with blood.
Have you never noticed how beautiful blood is?
I think Narissa did.
Narissa was my fourth child. Actually, my third chronologically. She’s older than Jade, who is the pretty little cat burglar that Jack decided I should Sire. He is predictable, isn’t he? She’s the second I sired willingly, the first female. Dre’s little sister (and wouldn’t he hate that?)
She’s a monster of course. I never Embrace the virtuous; whilst no rabbi has ever actually laid a prohibition down on cursing a righteous man with a nature both cursed and irredeemably impure, I can’t help but feel it goes against the spirit of my faith. My people were made, so we are told, to be a light to the Nations. You don’t do that by snuffing out goodness. So I only take those I already know to be bad in some way, to have a touch of that wrongness inside them, to be impure in a way that no mikveh could ever cleanse. But I can’t quite bear to chose the ugly ones, and so, at least to my eyes, the ones I take are always beautiful.
And Narissa is beautiful.
Maybe she isn’t beautiful physically, although I have no idea. I know she’s beautiful to me; beautiful in the pain she leaves in others; beautiful in the inks I can scent beneath the skin; beautiful in bitter clove cruelty, and velvet soft honey mead. I’ve always known she was beautiful from the first moment I caught her scent and I knew almost straight away that I wanted her.
She scares me, of course. Oh, she doesn’t know it. I don’t want her to know it. You can’t show weakness to my precious Narissa or she’ll cut you with it and smile. But then, would I have chosen her if this were not the case?
I’ve not seen her for years now. Oh, that’s normal with my childer as well. I think it’s a Riley family trait. I like to think it’s because we’re smart enough to not need too much coddling from our Sires. Dre says it’s because we’ve created a cycle of shite. I don’t know what Narissa would say on the subject, although I’m sure she’ll tell me one day. I sent her away shortly after I released her. I know she’ll return one day. They always do.
What surprises me is that lately I’ve found myself hoping that day comes soon.
no subject
You now have my thinking about OT prohibitions - nearest I can think of for now is the business about not allowing a witch to live, which IIRC is better translated as poisoner rather than witch, and makes far more sense when you consider the damage that a poisoner can do when a community is reliant on wells - certainly provides a big frowny face on those who would taint a source of something pure....