Being restless
Nov. 13th, 2011 11:27 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
annwfyn.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
writing_shadowsWinter, Epona thought, was not the time to get restless. Winter was a time for settling, a time when she should be glad that she had a roof over her head, and no need to try and pull the caravan out of the mud. It was a time for early nights and slow mornings, and spending more time than before knitting thick and brightly coloured scarves, especially as they had started to sell. It was a time for holding on to the people who mattered and ignoring the rest of the world for a while.
Which, she noted, was proving especially difficult right now.
People, traditionally, had been easy for Epona to ignore. She rarely disliked anyone, because it wasn't really worth the effort hating someone she would only spend 12 hours with before the circus moved on, but on the rare occasions that she did, they were extremely easy to avoid, ignore, and shortly forget. Arguments, in her world, were only things that really happened between family members and they were short, explosive, and then quickly forgotten.
She had, really, never had to live with the uncomfortable, grown up, slow grind of just getting on with people before.
It bothered her.
The neighbours who gave her and Kael filthy looks because they lived in a caravan (without the proper permissions) bothered her, and bothered her more when Kael said things like "well, we need to learn to get on with them". Why did they have to? Why could they not just leave in the spring and leave the stupid grumbling neighbours behind?
The arguments on the stupid e mail list (and actually, now she thought about it, she didn't like e mail either) bothered her. She didn't know who half the people shouting were, and she really didn't understand what they were shouting about. Well, she did in part. There had been deaths, and death was sad. If she could find someone who was responsible for the death of her cabal, or maybe her mother...
....actually, she wouldn't shout at them and would just try and kill them as they walked home alone one night. Which meant Epona still didn't understand what all the shouting was about. If Tinker, and Ishtar, and whoever else involved were responsible for the deaths of these Hungarians, why bother shouting? Or asking for reparations? What could ever make up for the deaths of those who mattered.
She had half mentioned this to Kael who had said something about 'politics' at which point Epona's brain had switched off entirely.
Epona had never lived this life before. She had run away from home when she was fifteen, and had lived most of her adult life as a constant traveller. She didn't deal with any of this stuff. She put on a show for the crowds and then went away. This constant low level of pretense, of being someone who you aren't quite, but who you need to be to get on with annoying people was...
...exhausting.
Maybe, she thought at times, she could get a new troupe and start again. Give her some time and she could get Legacy and Jocelyn trained up as decent shapeshifters and Kael was there already. OK, so none of them exactly screamed 'circus performer' but maybe she could work with that.
She wondered if Harper had ever considered retiring from active duty and turning to a life in the arts instead.
She was still thinking this thought as she gave up on brooding in a tree, and instead went inside to make tea.
Which, she noted, was proving especially difficult right now.
People, traditionally, had been easy for Epona to ignore. She rarely disliked anyone, because it wasn't really worth the effort hating someone she would only spend 12 hours with before the circus moved on, but on the rare occasions that she did, they were extremely easy to avoid, ignore, and shortly forget. Arguments, in her world, were only things that really happened between family members and they were short, explosive, and then quickly forgotten.
She had, really, never had to live with the uncomfortable, grown up, slow grind of just getting on with people before.
It bothered her.
The neighbours who gave her and Kael filthy looks because they lived in a caravan (without the proper permissions) bothered her, and bothered her more when Kael said things like "well, we need to learn to get on with them". Why did they have to? Why could they not just leave in the spring and leave the stupid grumbling neighbours behind?
The arguments on the stupid e mail list (and actually, now she thought about it, she didn't like e mail either) bothered her. She didn't know who half the people shouting were, and she really didn't understand what they were shouting about. Well, she did in part. There had been deaths, and death was sad. If she could find someone who was responsible for the death of her cabal, or maybe her mother...
....actually, she wouldn't shout at them and would just try and kill them as they walked home alone one night. Which meant Epona still didn't understand what all the shouting was about. If Tinker, and Ishtar, and whoever else involved were responsible for the deaths of these Hungarians, why bother shouting? Or asking for reparations? What could ever make up for the deaths of those who mattered.
She had half mentioned this to Kael who had said something about 'politics' at which point Epona's brain had switched off entirely.
Epona had never lived this life before. She had run away from home when she was fifteen, and had lived most of her adult life as a constant traveller. She didn't deal with any of this stuff. She put on a show for the crowds and then went away. This constant low level of pretense, of being someone who you aren't quite, but who you need to be to get on with annoying people was...
...exhausting.
Maybe, she thought at times, she could get a new troupe and start again. Give her some time and she could get Legacy and Jocelyn trained up as decent shapeshifters and Kael was there already. OK, so none of them exactly screamed 'circus performer' but maybe she could work with that.
She wondered if Harper had ever considered retiring from active duty and turning to a life in the arts instead.
She was still thinking this thought as she gave up on brooding in a tree, and instead went inside to make tea.
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