Moments

[frothy-bunny.livejournal.com]

For lslaw

They say that in the moments before we die we see our whole life, I didn't die, but I can now see how its possible.....

It was the howl that did it I think..... the moments flashed before my eye’s and I think I screamed. In our... no my position you kind of get to know when things are going badly and this had the potential to end very very badly.  In front of me a man I respected, cared for, a friend, a comrade exploded in a hit of anger and frenzy and there in front of me was another 9 foot killing machine.....

The memories flashed through my mind, the cups of tea, the laughter.  Earlier we’d been sat in an ambulance waiting together, the useless games of eye-spy where after 4 of 5 turns you run out of difficult things to say and end up with just the stupid ones.  

I know I backed away, tried to make myself small. I watched the man who I had fought zombies with, who had helped me when I needed a shoulder to cry on, who had given me the gentle nudges towards being almost normal in social situations as the wolf swallowed him and those round him struggled to get him under control.  Then my view was obscured by people trying to make sure I would stay in one piece.... thing is I don’t know right now

When Isabelle ended up in hospital I was scared for her, it reminds me how fragile we are in this world, and then she changed, and I figured as long as she was happy.  Jonah disappeared into his own life, while Rio went off to find hers.  It felt like it was just us for a while and then Mel kind of wandered into the circle, but now she is changing and she’s happy about it.  Arthur and I had talked about it, how of all of us we'd need commiserations not congratulations and there it was.  

Arthur was lying naked under a heap of people and I barely noticed as Ele took my wrist and led me away from there, away from the simmering anger of all the werewolves.  I remember laughing, we’d been talking about it only a little earlier, and I laughed, probably as a relief of tension and then I remembered.

So I went, I picked a flower from the roadside and went to him and managed to say all I could think of saying....

I’m Sorry....

Comments

[kathminchin.livejournal.com]

Oh dear

[lslaw.livejournal.com]

At the moment, Arthur still feels like he failed in a lot of ways.

[frothy-bunny.livejournal.com]

In no way did he fail, though Eliza would love to come round and be supportive for him. She knows what she'd feel in that situation and figures Arthur is in a fairly similar place. She will come round for tea at some point this week.