[Mortals] Meanwhile, back at the asylum
Jun. 29th, 2011 09:06 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
lslaw.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
writing_shadows"I suppose it was by way of a test; of me, that is. I'm through testing other people, or I think I am; that's a part of what I'm testing.
"I'd be lying if I said that it was easy. Everything was so familiar, but there were so many changes.
"The Enchanted Forest was the same, with its wonderful panopally of smells; there were so many familiar faces, Emma and Anna, Louis and Eva; and there was the weirdness, of course. But the Forest doesn't feel like such a sanctuary anymore, and the faces look more drawn, like everyone is tired. And the weirdness is creeping inside.
"Emma was pretty much Emma; I think she's doing what she can to hold them together, but there's no hiding that she's given up on the outliers. I don't know what specifically Anna did to alienate her so much, but it's easy to see that she's lost the trust. Whatever else she's done, Anna is deep into the weird; deeper than I ever was. She didn't seem to want to meet my eye and I'm not sorry. Maybe Eva will prove a balance to that yet, but at the moment it seems to be pitching the other way.
"Louis seems to be burying himself in Unearthly and I can't help feeling there but for the grace of God. I never did get really into it, but I don't think I'd be handling it even as well as he is.
"Andy is... Andy. I think he's a sort of fixed star in the society and the mystico-psychological health of the whole can probably be measured by how weird he seems, relative to the others.
"He had a notebook; I didn't ask to borrow it, but I was tempted.
"And Ricky Royal showed up.
"Ricky Royal showed up twice, once being a super-jerk and once being all reasonable and denying all knowledge of himself (which I guess you could take as symbolic if you wanted). Then Anna went off on one about sliding between alternate universes and how you couldn't ever go home or call home without destroying it.
"So, that's me for the next couple of months, because that isn't a risk I'm taking.
"But I will try to see Rowan, because he's barely holding on. He believes that he has a gift; an ability to see the limitless quantum possibilities in a moment and choose which universe to proceed into. He believes it, and I think I do too. It's the way he describes it, the pain in him, that convinces me. I can't turn my back on that.
"I'm home now, and I'm not writing this down. I'm probably not going to talk to Jayne about most of it; the basics, of course, but I won't go into detail because going over it would upset us both. I'm telling you and you alone. I promise not to make a habit of that, but I just want you to know that I went back there and I came away again. I'm worried about Rowan and I'm worried about Emma, but I'm not going to get involved with the rest. That's not my life anymore; you are.
"Goodnight, Anastasia. Sleep well."
"I'd be lying if I said that it was easy. Everything was so familiar, but there were so many changes.
"The Enchanted Forest was the same, with its wonderful panopally of smells; there were so many familiar faces, Emma and Anna, Louis and Eva; and there was the weirdness, of course. But the Forest doesn't feel like such a sanctuary anymore, and the faces look more drawn, like everyone is tired. And the weirdness is creeping inside.
"Emma was pretty much Emma; I think she's doing what she can to hold them together, but there's no hiding that she's given up on the outliers. I don't know what specifically Anna did to alienate her so much, but it's easy to see that she's lost the trust. Whatever else she's done, Anna is deep into the weird; deeper than I ever was. She didn't seem to want to meet my eye and I'm not sorry. Maybe Eva will prove a balance to that yet, but at the moment it seems to be pitching the other way.
"Louis seems to be burying himself in Unearthly and I can't help feeling there but for the grace of God. I never did get really into it, but I don't think I'd be handling it even as well as he is.
"Andy is... Andy. I think he's a sort of fixed star in the society and the mystico-psychological health of the whole can probably be measured by how weird he seems, relative to the others.
"He had a notebook; I didn't ask to borrow it, but I was tempted.
"And Ricky Royal showed up.
"Ricky Royal showed up twice, once being a super-jerk and once being all reasonable and denying all knowledge of himself (which I guess you could take as symbolic if you wanted). Then Anna went off on one about sliding between alternate universes and how you couldn't ever go home or call home without destroying it.
"So, that's me for the next couple of months, because that isn't a risk I'm taking.
"But I will try to see Rowan, because he's barely holding on. He believes that he has a gift; an ability to see the limitless quantum possibilities in a moment and choose which universe to proceed into. He believes it, and I think I do too. It's the way he describes it, the pain in him, that convinces me. I can't turn my back on that.
"I'm home now, and I'm not writing this down. I'm probably not going to talk to Jayne about most of it; the basics, of course, but I won't go into detail because going over it would upset us both. I'm telling you and you alone. I promise not to make a habit of that, but I just want you to know that I went back there and I came away again. I'm worried about Rowan and I'm worried about Emma, but I'm not going to get involved with the rest. That's not my life anymore; you are.
"Goodnight, Anastasia. Sleep well."
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