[Mage] Psych Officer

[frothy-bunny.livejournal.com]

 I'm looking at the door to the Psych Officer and all I can think is how long its been since I was last here.

Last time it was because Snow had died, and they wanted to make sure I was alright, now its because I tried to kill Cyanide again this morning when I woke up, reality and my dreams just don't seem to separate anymore.  Luckily I haven't hurt anyone yet and if you are going to go crazy with Forces magic doing it in Orkney, at the monastery, probably the place to do it.  As I look in the window across from me I see my reflection and I realise I have barely changed to look at, I still have my long red hair and since I've been back it is tied up and back in its braids, I am wearing the same old cream colours, my cotton jumper to keep the  breeze off in  the summer heat, my linen skirt making me look so modest and I wonder when I last really changed how I looked.  

I stand and I pace, I feel so trapped here, I have always found this place home, and comforting, I said a pair of slippers that you slip on kind of comfortable, yet now it pushes against me and I don't know how to live here anymore.  I feel the urge to smash the window, to push a wall of air through it and cause a thousand shards of glass to flutter on the wind in the summers sun.....

"Dawnbringer" A voice from behind me calls and I turn to see the Psych officer looking at her.  I stop and turn to face him.  
"Yes?" 
"Come on in" He holds the door open for me and I feel like I'm fourteen again and that snow has just died and everyone is watching me to see what I will do.

On the desk is a file, it has my name on it, its a little old, its the same file they have had on me for a while, I wonder if they hold them on every Arrow, or anyone that lives here, or if mine is that thick just because of how long I have been here now.  I begin to wonder if Kael sent a report, if Scooby sends one regularly, I can feel the wonder about if I'm being spied on and I sit restlessly in the chair.

"It's been a while Dawnbringer" his voice is soft and soothing, he was meant to have retired, did I do this? have I caused all this trouble? I nod and he begins to ask me questions and then asks permission to enter my mind.  When he is done he tuts slightly and I watch him make notes, he doesn't realise he does that, its a sign he's worried.  I can't help but look at my feet as we talk, this place makes me feel like a child again.  An hour passes so quickly when your not thinking about it.  I just want to be out of here, I feel awful and just want to go swim.  

I wish I knew what had happened to me

Comments

Operation Look after Dawnie

[kathminchin.livejournal.com]

Begins ...