[Forsaken] - The Z Word

[lslaw.livejournal.com]

I'm not using the Z word.

It wasn't a... He wasn't a zombie; he was Claimed. Or something. But he was alive. Alive when he came through that door. Alive when he came at us. Not alive afterwards.

I don't feel bad.

I do feel bad, but... We did what we had to do. It, he, wasn't there to harm us, but wasn't there to talk either, and what he did to Duncan...

Focus. Hands on the wheel; ten and two. Don't think about the zombie.

I'm not using the Z word.

He had new clothes, but signs of living rough. No ID; I'll need to check him against the missing person's database, look at photos. I can't do anything for him though; can't even let his family know he's dead. That would need a body and that would mean Sophia explaining the guns.

Choices. I made mine. Made them when I heard the struggle in the corridor.

Ten and two; focus.

Five miles to go. When I get there, I can text Iz again.

Zombies, like Claimed, aren't people, she said.

But I'm not using the Z word.

So, it's all right. Not people. It's okay to kill them.

Stop. I can't think like that.

What would happen to a child who was conceived, gestated and born on a wound?

Can't let myself think like that.

My hands are starting to shake.

Ten and two.

I'm not using the Z word.

Today I was part of a killing and I agreed to be involved in several more. They say it can't be helped, that they're already dead. I can't let myself think like that.

I pull into the garage and switch off the engine as the door slides closed. I sit there for... it might be half an hour or more, struggling to focus.

Ten and two.

I'm not using the Z word.

Except I am.

Comments

[frothy-bunny.livejournal.com]

<3 Eliza focused on Bunnies instead of correct driving positions, but mnay, many <3

[suave-steve.livejournal.com]

Someone really needs to try and properly explain all these things to both Arthur and Eliza - it will either help or drive them totally over the edge ;)

I liked both of their reactions to it all.

[lslaw.livejournal.com]

It didn't help that he'd just had a conversation with Harm and Jala which, while it wasn't what they thought they were saying, came out to him as: "You are a depraved maniac to the core and everything else is a facade, but on the plus side, we're awesome."

[suave-steve.livejournal.com]

Bless them but they don't really have social skills or empathy... scarily Mal is one of my highest empathy PCs.