writing_shadows

A somewhat gratuitous three-word fic for

mionassmaster - I even got you the LJ icon to match!

“P’raps I should be helping you,” Liam said to me as he sidled by.

I was a mess. I knew I was a mess. I was drunk and I wasn’t being good Winter. I had shouted at Snaggle, wept on Astraea and failed to help Rose push her feelings aside for the sake of sentiment. And now I stood on display in the full shame of my emotions, tears carving rivers across my cheeks, drying and being replaced by fresh ones, sobbing so hard that my throat ached and my skin stung, mascara scratched across my cheekbones, eyeliner smudged under my eyes; it was as if the darkness inside me was seeping out through my eyes, dancing with my despondency, taunting my hard-hidden sorrow as it tumbled out of me in waves.

He paused, and that half-smile that he always wore crept across his face. And there was something else. I don’t know what. I didn’t have the energy to find out. I had said I would help him with his sorrow. Teach him how to bury it.

Hypocrite.

I rubbed the makeup from my face, smearing black across my knuckles, and swallowed hard. Fleetingly, I thought of the fire. The ice. The knife. The blacking out. The drink.

And then I realised just how much I had changed over the past six months. How much I had let change me.

And I knew I was not done changing yet.