writing_shadows

Well, I suppose this is my good bye to my silly little depressed Wizened who decided life was too much on Saturday night and so left it.

I have enjoyed the PC over the past couple of years, and have loved all the RP I have got from it and everyone who has RP'd with her. So thanks to everyone.

I will admit that today, now Im actually cleaning up everything I am crying vast amounts over what I ddi, but I do think that it was appropriate and something that has been on its way since Moorcroft died. A girl with no coping mechanisms is never going to survive being asked to go with her heart to the Underworld.

I do kinda like the fact that Macs contract useage over the weekend involved Brownies Boon to write Suicide notes and Animation so she could actually pull of the act. It amuses me in a sick way.

Hmm, this is a scene leading to a suicide so if you have issues with that, dont read.

Mac sat crying, alone on the floor of a room. Paper spread in front of her as she began to write letters, Nyght, Astraea, China, Rex, Venice..... Skip. The one she regretted leaving like this.
As Macs hand writes faster then it should, using the gifts left to her in Arcadia her mind runs over the previous few days.
Nyght and Astraeas pledges, the disappointment of Skip. She knows its all little things, but they build up. Sitting on the stairs with Elianne signing how she didnt know who she was any more, how the person she tought she was would never have murdered two people like that.
Rexs arms last night for a short while were some comfort, but he had to run of with others. Skip and Aleks helping her to bed before she went a whored herself out to the Spring COurt for some higher purpose she doesnt understand. Nyghts calling to her earlier because Nyght needed comfort, no one followed Mac, shes sitting alone, no one cares, no one. Here im alone, there ....
"I'm lonely, you could come with me. Its your choice" Those words that mean everything, he wants her with him, he wants her there. She tried this living without him but she didnt like it, she didnt like the pain it was. So very tired of all the pain.
Macs fingers stray over the gun Skip had given her earlier as she thinks on him. Skips arms round her, his words and silly accent. His ideas and dreams she wishes she coudl be part of, but knows its not meant to be.
She picks up the guna nd looks at it, running her fingers over it as she activates the last contract she ever will to learn how to do this. She lifts the gun to her head hoping she doesnt mess this up as well, and whispers "Fairy Tale endings just dont exist."
She slowly squeezes (not puills) the trigger....