I aten't ded

[badgersandjam.livejournal.com]

 I haven't posted in a while, because I sort of stopped existing.  But to show willing, I was going to post other LRPstuff--which I now cannot find.  If I do, I shall let you enjoy the three revolting hags I andtwo friends played here.

But here, to cheer you up,. is the full list of the alchemist's notebook from the last CHangeling National, written by songofnewday and myself.

“Spin rate to high – May need to odd another tortoise”

“Mice changed colour at last. Cat only seems to like orange ones”

“Loaf of bread, pint of milk, pound of butter, newspaper, three hundred trout, quarter of a mile of washing line, Portugal”

“Better glue for stick on eyebrows?”

“Send O and M the articulated bit. 50 pence for tea kitty”

“Pliers backfired for third time this week. Tighten springs. Batten hatches. Strap pillow on helmet”

"Matches, matches, matches, matches, matches, matches, ntaches"

"Crank back to third cog. Engage treadle. Results… Cheese detonated. Need to find different method of making welsh rarebit"

"Psychiatrist - 03254 652342, Chemist 0685 32554, Fire Brigade 1"

"2 Pinches - Sour Speculate, 1 Pinch - Cream of SpikePlum, 1 Pint Fulminate of Sulphur."

"Buy new lab-coat, jacket, shirt, plasters, burn ointment."

"2 Pinches - Sour Speculate, 1 Pinch - Cream of Spike Plum, 1 PINCH(!!!) Fulminate of Sulphur."

"Attempt to cast spell summon nyarla… narlyatpopo… yarnylapto… Send for pizza"

"SUCCESS!!! Compass that points away from Reading no matter where you are!!"

"Clockwork piranhas?"

"Cheese exfoliating cream?"

"Toad launcher exploded on third attempt. Rather nice patina effect on walls."

"Pocket universe successfully generated. Should probably have removed from trousers before washing."

"Moon cheese? Moon-cheese? Mooncheese? Munchies??... Remember to cover pan when boiling mercury"

"Wanted: Lab Assistant. Height 4' 2" to 7'6". Sex: Either (or both]. Qualifications: Must be conductive… conducive to new ideas..

Add nutmeg to liver.  Take out liver first.

Let sleeping pencils lie.

Stake =/= steak and does not fry as well.

Mater fulminates better than sulphur does.

Bread and butterflies, but lands butter side down.

Three pints calico and a bushel of lard

Bottle cat’s footfalls and send to J.

Need bigger mothballs.  Last ones eaten.

Adjust wogglesprocket on horsefly device.  Duck.

Pepperoni oil insufficient lubricant, very sore.

Myth of previous successful attempt at independent propulsion exploded.  Pieces not found.

Close blast shield. Activate matter injector stream. Charge to full capacity. Launch prior to catastrophic failure hysterisis point. Add sugar and lemon to taste.

Invent better mouse trap.

Invent better mouse.

Rocket-propelled roller-postmen?

Wickerwork... Cheese... Rubber gloves!

Strip inverse thread to rip steel seams.  Apply transverse ratchet and spoon.  Ignition!

Ow.

Must be something that can be done about the housekeeper.  Finding one might be a start.

Chateaubriand or Beaujolais?  All taste the same after the twelfth explosion.  Cordite replacement sorely needed!

Radical b squared minus 4 ac is rubbish.  Just differentiate the damn thing.

This ruler does not do what it says on the tin!   Must stop buying tinned rulers, no matter the price.

Atomic Auto-zipper testing notes... Voice activation not such a good idea

Seven dimensional wheel finished. Now just need a time travellers socket set to get it attached

Finally. My atomic-powered, cybernetically-enhanced, super-octopus is ready. That should get the washing up sorted

No more twist.