Once upon a time

[kathminchin.livejournal.com]

Background story for Dey



Once upon a time, a long way away. Such an innocuous start to fairy stories. Most kids take it as there being a time when the tale happened, but it was so long agao and so far away it won't ever come to to haunt you.

I wish I was still as innocent.

Once upon a time, a long time ago I met a man called Li. The memories of where we met are muddled, as I was just beginning to think properly again. I think I'd tried to escape, and I got caught and hauled back. My punishement was to fight - to fight many fights for my Master. Not to the death, but until I couldn't move from pain and wounds. To cause as much agony as I suffered.

I sometimes think that this was part of the reason I managed to escape. By making me do something that I hated and that was against my nature made me think more. Odd.

I don't remember every fight. I know that there were many, but they merge into a blur of hand and fist, of being struck and striking back. Broken bones and flowing blood; the purple of bruises and the tase of iron in my mouth.

But Li was different. For a start I remember his name, but more. I remember his Keeper striding into the hall of my Master. She was beautiful, her hair black, bound up in a style that tugged at my memories with flowers woven into it; her kimono black with gold and red coloured rossettes woven into the fabric, a long braided whip hanging from her obi. She bowed formally, and was greeted with the name of Lady Bloodsnow; though that's a poor translation from the Japanese. Her servant glided behind her, twin katanas across his back, his garments flowing with a liquid grace, his expression carefully blank.

I remember standing barefoot on the cold stone floor, eyes lowered as the Lady entered. I remember a formal greeting ceremony that seemed to last an interminable age, the Elder behind me striking me with a whip if I shifted from my required posed display. By the time they'd completed greeting each other, my legs and arms were trembling with fatigue.

And then I had to fight. Dragged in front of the two Keepers, who sat enthroned on a dias, I knelt before my Master and waited to discover who I was fighting this time. The first inkling I had was the whisper of silk as he stood beside me. We bowed to each other, and I remember being relieved that the katanas weren't on his back, or in his hand. He was taller than I, slim and athletic, and his eyes were icy blue in his expressionless face.

And the fight began. I knew that if I didn't fight as well as I could I would suffer for it, so I made every attempt to hit him; but he either side stepped or deflected every blow. Nothing in his face made me think he was being contemptuous of my ability, but he refused to strike back no matter where I hit.

And She stood up, her expression thunderous, and her whip arched through the air. It curled around his body, making him arch in pain as she demanded he fight properly; and I used the iopening to sink my teeth into his thigh.

I got into trouble for that. I'd been told now teeth and no claws; but it got his attention. A ripple of pain and rage went across his schooled features, and he hit me on the back of the head to get me off his leg. Blood dripping from my mouth, the taste of flesh across my tongue, the fight began anew, this tie in earnest. His skill versus my strength; his agility against my brutality. He danced around me, his blows targetted and sure; I fought back with every dirty trick I had ever seen, causing damage everytime I manageed to land a hit. Time became unreal, it was centred on the here and now, on the strike coming in and the strike going out. There was no time to plan, no time to think, only react.

There was a crack in the air, and when we didn't seperate fast enough Lady Bloodsnow's whip curled around first his body and then mine. He backed away, as I sank to my knees panting, head pressed against the floor in front of my Master, trying not to simply collapse. I was barely aware of their feet walking past me, the whip curling about Her feet, my Master trailing our blood across his marble floor.

The door slammed, and I risked a look behind me. We were alone, and I slumped to the floor whilst trying to crick my neck back into place.

"Ow, that bloody hurt" I muttered to myself.

"True enough... you've got more skill than most I am forced against." I turned and stared at my opponent. The last thing I'd expected was a reply in English.

"You ... speak my language." I winced as I said it, it was stating the obvious.

"Apparently so." He grimaced as he fiddled with his knee, I figured I must have dislodged it with a kick.

"Sorry, not heard it for a long time." I growled slightly as I attempted to pop my shoulder back into joint. Dislocations at least stopped hurting once you'd got them back into place.

"Perfectly all right. I guess I should apologise for losing control like that - wasn't my intention to ... ... to do any longterm injury." I shrugged slightly, ignoring the shooting pains the movement caused.

"We were told to fight. You weren't fighting. Daft of you."

"Daft?" I thought quickly, but couldn't come up with a Japanese equivalent, so tried explaining it with other English words.

"Foolish? She wanted you to fight. Disobedience is ... painful normally." I shuddered slightly at the memory of the whip curling about my body; it had caused pain coupled with an unpleasent eroticism. I cricked my neck, the new feelings dispelling the memory.

"Oh, ignorant, dumb ... right. Even so, I would have rather just knocked you out, or made it so fighting was impossible."

"Why?"

"It... is my choice, I don't like hurting people needlessly." He smiled at me, and I found myself smiling back.

"It's nice to meet someone like that."

"What's your name?"

An innocuous question, that rang bells in my mind. Once upon a time I'd had a name, a proper name - but I couldn't remember it. I remember thinknig hard, but my name was lost to me then.

"Don't know ... they call me White One because I have pale skin ..." I wanted to know my name, my proper name, but it was lost to me. I left it for the moment, something to ponder when I wasn't talking to someone.

He walked to his bag, and pulled out a small bronze coloured fruit, that looks rather like a pomegranate (though what a pomegranate was I couldn't have said then) He broke it in half and offered me on piece, biting into it to demonstrate his good intentions. I didn't bother pointing out that I'd eaten poisons before now at the behest of my Master, instead I sniffed it and then bit down.

"So, White One ... I'll call you Yuki... for you are as white as snow."

"Ok then. So what's your name?"

He smiled softly, slipping down onto his knees and sitting infront of me.

"I'm called Li." The name felt as though it meant something, but I couldn't work out the translation. The are though came back to me, a flash of gently patterned silk kimonos and pure white tabi.

"Japan?" He nodded in response, finishing his part of the fruit. "I think I was there once."

"That is where I was taken from...but this is home now."

The word struck a chord. Home. I had a sudden memory, of the smell of cut grass and my grandmother's ginger cake baking in the oven. For a flash I was overwhelmed with images, adn then they slipped away from me again.

"No ... no it's not." I must have sounded rather vehment as he looked across at me.

"Hmm?"

"Home is not here. I think I'd forgotten that."

"I, don't....what do you mean?" He looked at me surprised, but I was frowing inwardly as I tried my hardest to think. To remember.

"I ... I'd forgotten ... for so long ... but this is not home." I sighed. "I don't know where home is though.

"Home is where you are allowed to rest your body. Home is where kindness awaits. Home is where you are taught loyalty and honor." I didn't think I agreed with him, but sought to change the subject.

"Why did your Lady make you fight?" * He looked up, his eyes glimmering from blue to silver and back again.

"She bid me fight, so I did." I nodded as he looked to one side, muttering softly. "Besides... its better than the alternative."

"I got ... caught." The words were out before I could stop them.

"What do you mean?" He looked at me again, ice blue eyes holdiong little expression.

"I ... was looking for somthing. Somewhere. I'm not sure ... but I was caught. This is ...punishement. You are my fifth fight." He said nothing but offered me his hand. His skin was cool in mine, and I stared at the slender fingers, so differnt to my own calloused claws.

"So if home is where there is kindness ... is this home for you?"

"My home is where I choose it to be. This could be home, as easily as anywhere. As long as there is someone to show kindness, or to show kindness to. Why, do you ask?"

He canted his head to the side slightly, provoking another flash of memory, gone so fast I barely realise it was there.

"I am trying to remember. And understand.I t's like thinking through treacle ..." I realise I'm not sure what treacle is.

"Thinking too far back hurts... I've learned. It is best, to dream what you wish to remember, if you are allowed."

"I'm not sure if I'm allowed or not ... I think My Lord doesn't care ..."

"Besides... why focus on what is already done, when there is so much left undone?"

"I guess." I'm not sure. I want to remember because it's important to remember, I just can't grasp why.

"Yuki, it means Snow." He gives my hand a squeeze, and I smile at him. "ou show two sides... like snow. The bitter cold, ice, sharp pain and determination... but snow is also soft, unfailing, gentle to the touch, and as it melts if you breath too hard upon it."

"I will remember. But if we fight again - don't wait for the whip huh?" He grinned.

"Lessons learned. Experience gained. Though, I will refrain from hurting you if I can."

"Fair enough. I don't like hurting people either." I squeeze his hand back. "I hope you find a better home."

"I am sure we both will."

Footsteps echoed in the distance. He smiled and then turned to pack his belongings away, as I took up my previous position, kneeling, my forehead pressed against the cold marble floor.

I never saw him again. But that conversation, not even ten minutes long, gave me the impetous to find my way home. I hope Li found his way as well. I hope one day to be able to thank him for what he helped me achieve.