writing_shadows

"Having fun with Eli?"

I smiled widely because I knew it was a dangerous start to a conversation. We'd barely exchanged ten words, all small talk, she'd only just sat down and Neve didn't strike me as someone who was easily ruffled. I was fishing really. I knew Eli was tumbling head-first into anything or anyone that he thought might hurt him right now and quite frankly, I didn't care so long as he wasn't darkening my proverbial doorstep any more - God knows I'd never been stupid enough to show him my actual doorstep. I was more interested to see what sort of a person she was.

"I always have fun." Neve smiled back at me.

So was she bluffing because she thought that I was involved with Eli and she could ruffle me in turn; was she bluffing because she was trying to maintain a façade that she was some shallow, manipulative bitch (which, in a truly sad set of circumstances, she may actually be); was she being deliberately vague because she didn't want to lie to me directly but also didn't want me to think I'd got one over on her; or was she actually sleeping with him - in which case, I hoped to God she'd taught him a lesson, because it was about time someone did and I certainly wasn't going to be the one to do it.

"You?" She pressed.

That's it, Neve, push back. In the animal kingdom, we'd have been circling one another, sizing one another up, gaining a measure of how much each of us would give and take, push and pull, before settling down just out of scratching distance to parley. That's not to say we were enemies. But strangers are more dangerous still. I half-wondered if she saw this meeting the same way, or if she truly carried the air of supreme self-confidence she exuded and considered herself above all that. But back to the point. She was pushing for information. About Eli, or about my 'having fun' in general? I too had a reputation but not one I tended to cultivate through talk. Mine seemed to come through my general avoidance of people, through sitting quietly in corners and observing, being seen with certain kinds of people, being whispered about by others. I felt no need to bolster it.

"With Eli? No. I'm afraid he stopped being fun very quickly, for me." I said, a little dismissively.

Of course, there was something of a lie there. Perhaps I did unintentionally skew my reputation a little from time to time. Eli was never about fun. He was a tool with which to manipulate others. I certainly didn't need to keep whoring myself to him for him to continue to be useful to me. I could quite gratefully leave that to Ella.