[Lost] - It Started with a Kiss
Feb. 20th, 2012 08:22 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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frothy_bunny and answered by myself.
It was just meant to be a kiss.
It was only supposed to be a kiss.
I was trying to prove a point. I could take control of my desire, I had control of my desires and I could fulfil this small, 1 tiny, desire; just a kiss.
I hadn't even wanted it to start with. She was so... meek, so beaten down by other people's expectations, so convinced that the raging fire inside her was something wicked that I felt bad for pushing her.
Until she pushed back. Until that little, fierce light came on in her eyes and then when she said that she wanted to kiss me, suddenly it was all I was thinking about.
As I moved towards him I knew I could do it. I rested against the table. His hand stroked my cheek and I felt my self control falter. In that moment I wanted to kiss him and I sure as hell didn’t want him to kiss me. Then he kissed me. I don’t think he intended what happened next. I’m not even sure if it was more like a lightning strike, or a crash of water hitting us, but I know he felt it too. That moment, that heat and the sudden breaking of all my barriers ignited something unforeseen.
Just a kiss, I told myself, and I tried to stop at that; not because I wanted to stop at that point, but because I didn't; because my good sense told me that if I pushed then I would have this, and nothing more, and I did want more. In the end my good sense was overridden by... I don't want to say bad, but my horse sense.
I need to listen to my horse sense more often.
Its less that 2 weeks since that kiss and 5 am. I am turning over in the bed as my alarm goes off and pulling the blanket over my head as he laughs at me gently and gets up turning it off. I have an hours drive to the hospital for my placement and he is more of a morning person than I am. He brings me tea to the bedroom and kisses the tip of my ear where it pokes out from under the blanket. I yawn and I stretch and I realise, I am awake now.
She looks sweet, bundled up in the covers, but I know better now. Sweet is a small thing, and she isn't small; it's a timid thing, and she isn't timid. I told her that the girl on the station platform was just someone who was waiting to be her; to become her. Now I think that that girl was just a dream, the dream of the perfect life that had been planned for her; a dream she abandoned when she woke to the life that she wanted.
frothy_bunny and answered by myself.It was just meant to be a kiss.
It was only supposed to be a kiss.
I was trying to prove a point. I could take control of my desire, I had control of my desires and I could fulfil this small, 1 tiny, desire; just a kiss.
I hadn't even wanted it to start with. She was so... meek, so beaten down by other people's expectations, so convinced that the raging fire inside her was something wicked that I felt bad for pushing her.
Until she pushed back. Until that little, fierce light came on in her eyes and then when she said that she wanted to kiss me, suddenly it was all I was thinking about.
As I moved towards him I knew I could do it. I rested against the table. His hand stroked my cheek and I felt my self control falter. In that moment I wanted to kiss him and I sure as hell didn’t want him to kiss me. Then he kissed me. I don’t think he intended what happened next. I’m not even sure if it was more like a lightning strike, or a crash of water hitting us, but I know he felt it too. That moment, that heat and the sudden breaking of all my barriers ignited something unforeseen.
Just a kiss, I told myself, and I tried to stop at that; not because I wanted to stop at that point, but because I didn't; because my good sense told me that if I pushed then I would have this, and nothing more, and I did want more. In the end my good sense was overridden by... I don't want to say bad, but my horse sense.
I need to listen to my horse sense more often.
Its less that 2 weeks since that kiss and 5 am. I am turning over in the bed as my alarm goes off and pulling the blanket over my head as he laughs at me gently and gets up turning it off. I have an hours drive to the hospital for my placement and he is more of a morning person than I am. He brings me tea to the bedroom and kisses the tip of my ear where it pokes out from under the blanket. I yawn and I stretch and I realise, I am awake now.
She looks sweet, bundled up in the covers, but I know better now. Sweet is a small thing, and she isn't small; it's a timid thing, and she isn't timid. I told her that the girl on the station platform was just someone who was waiting to be her; to become her. Now I think that that girl was just a dream, the dream of the perfect life that had been planned for her; a dream she abandoned when she woke to the life that she wanted.
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