Seven Bells - Astarael: As ye sow, so shall ye weep

[lslaw.livejournal.com]

Three months, one week and seventeen days since he died; since I held Colin in my arms and felt his life ebb away.

I still dream about it; still wake from the nightmare, night after night. It's not the fury in his eyes or the blood – Tom and Ell's blood that night, Caro and Joel's before that – on his hands that won't leave me, however.

At the very last, when I finished the chant; when the... thing left him and he all but fell into my arms, there was for just a moment a look in his eyes of such horror that I knew he must have known everything he had done.

And it is because of that that I wake, every morning, weeping.