[Mage] On Men

[frothy-bunny.livejournal.com]

 Master Laurance was almost a father to me, I say almost not because he hasn't been there my entire life, after all he found me on a cottage doorstep nearly 25 years ago, a cottage that just happened to be attached to an Arrow strong hold.  He and Snow raised me, but he always kept me at arms distance, alway just short of being a father.  I do love him like a father, at least I assume I do, but there are times I wish he didn't make me feel like my very existence was wrong.  I remember when Snow died, he was so very sad, and I tried to help, but he kept me at distance.  it was 6 months later when he and I argued and I ran to that beach watching the sun rising over the water and awoke there on the sand that he formed me into who I am, or finalised it.  When I came round he was looking at me as he held me and he simply asked my name.  After that he changed and he became my guardian and my mentor.  He guided me and taught me until he decided I should be released to go and learn about the outside world, He accepted me, he nurtured me, even when I took my holy orders he never complained, he just asked for me to come back to Orkney and do my duties where he could watch my training.  Now as I look at the frail man before me I realise he is the only Father I ever knew and one day I will be called back to this Island to attend his funeral, I don't like that thought.....

 

Scooby is my Mentor, and sure he is very disappointed in me at the moment.  He has that knack of making me do what I know is the right thing even if I don't want to do the right thing, he gets this look, not sure how to describe it,but all i know is that sinking feeling that no matter what I'd really like to do I will end up doing what is right in the end.  He has yet to actually say no to me, though that may change, and expects me to go and make mistakes, and then I come to discuss them and he gets all disappointed, and then wonders why I don't come with the big mistakes..... I don't like that feeling of having failed someone, its not a nice feeling, in fact it makes me feel bad (probably why he uses it) so I avoid him when I make the big mistakes, except when I'm sent to my room for temporary incarceration till they ship me back to Orkney..... problem there, he knows where I am.

 

Wulf, I shot him, oddly this was a life changing moment for me, who'd have known he'd have an impact on who I am and the things I could experience, fate truly is a fickle Arcarna.  I shot him because he was so dismissive, I needed an opinon, I  may not have listened to it, but I wanted one and all he did was brush it of and make me feel so unwanted, then he insulted my cabal mate, then he made me feel worthless.... so then I walked into that room to stop someone else shooting him, I didn't even know I'd do it, yet something freed inside of me, I feel more alive than I have done in my entire life.  I remember I wasn't 100%sure I'd pull the trigger, I knew I could, I thought, but then I felt so calm and so serene I knew I could and I would feel ok about doing it, so I did, ok now I'm in trouble, but hey, those are the breaks.

Onto my cabal I guess, lets start with Legacy, so we go out for drinks, and I always felt awkward (that was before I shot Wulf, not been out since) and he always tries to make me feel better, but then he can be a little odd.  He doesn't think I could work in a bar, or as a waitress, I think I could, kind of, he doesn't think I could cope with the men flirting with me, thing is they don't, I seem to miss out on that stuff, he just gave me a funny look when I said that.....

Next Cyanide.... Well, he's just.... Well Cyanide.  He does look out for me, and I am grateful, pretty sure we both know I can look after myself, but it is nice that he can be protective.  We train together,  Guns mostly, said we'd start hand to hand, I'm more than a little useless at that, but he's been there for me, which I appreciate and maybe I just need to trust that he won't shoot everyone who ever upsets me, then I'm less likely to end up doing it myself.  I  like sitting and drinking a couple of beers when he's around the warehouse, when the evening reaches that quiet time, when the world seems suddenly silent and you can almost feel magic in the air.  We sit one each end of the battered sofa and we laugh and we chat and its just nice....

 

 

 

 

Comments

[annwfyn.livejournal.com]

What is it with your PCs and inflicting violence instead of flirtation! It's like kicking a boy in the shins, BUT WITH WEAPONS! ;)