writing_shadows

Our choices make us, our calling curses us.

When they first approached me they told me how our path was difficult. The constant looks, mistrust, the deceit that we must play about us as truth, it would all take a toll in the end. Ours is a lonely path they said.

I have never notice it in truth. I have spent years staying for a short period of time, going where I was assigned, completing the task and leaving. I have never looked at forming connections, never looked at the pros and cons of staying somewhere long term.

Then I came to Edinburgh. It was originally a short term assignment, there had been trouble so Shade, Gabriel and I were assigned to have a look, and we did. Then Gabe got called away leaving only two. I became involved with Emeritus and started to truly notice the scorn and looks that come as part of the Order.

We do not breach the veil, unless necessary. We are not Seers. We believe in Atlantis, we were part of Atlantis. We follow the law and when things within a Consilium turn sour we are there to quietly lend a hand and help provide the stability that is required. We personally acquainted with the line between light and dark, never having the opportunity to venture far from it.

Today Shade has said that he must fade away for a while, disappear into the background to do his work, leaving me here alone. I do not think I have felt as truly alone as I do now in my life. This evening I have watched as my Cabal have told me that I do not wish to know, I have watched a Consilium who would rather I were not there, I have listened to my boyfriend explain how he pays the wages of his ex- who wishes to stab me. I have watched, I have played the part expected. I have kept the façade no matter how much I hurt.

I finally understood what they said.

Ours is a lonely path.

Our choices will make us for ourselves.

Our calling will curse us to all others.

Ours is a Lonely path.