writing_shadows

It had been a long, long tiring night. Dizzy with drink and with the cloying glamour of desire, my head was already beginning to spin a little when I came in from the cold of the world outside to the freehold's warmth.

Came in to a scene of emotional devastation, and unbelievable tales of Satrap Sam rising from he grave, and the heartbroken face of my dear friend. So of course I did what I could to cheer her up. My beloved lady had given me permission to go to my friend again, and it seemed just in time.

A little music was easy to set up, and Phoenix and I were dancing to it, to the amusement of the ladies. Before long I could tell that Rose wanted to dance, to be cheered up. Waiting for a while for the desire to take hold, I offer her a hand and haul her up to the dance floor.

It's fun. I love dancing, and I like dancing with Rose. But she's a hell of a lot drunker than usual, and she's stumbling across the floor at times. Can't really blame her, given the circumstances.

Before long she stumbles, and I catch her and she clings on, dancing close and slow. The whole world seems to slow down, and I know I'm doing something wrong by mistake, even if nothing's going to happen.

So, about time for some truth, yeah? I've got a bit of a thing for Rose. Nothing serious, I don't love her, or not like that, not like I do my Adrianne. But it's her nature and duty in spring to be desired. And so she is, even if I don't admit to it anymore. Even to myself when it's any time except like this, with her this close to me, soft and fragrant in my arms. Even now I hide it, we'll only hurt ourselves and others otherwise, and not all desires should be fulfilled. I dance with her and think of my lady, and the promise of love I gave to her.

So when later, Rose drunkenly started mumbling some things about me entirely too distinctly, and I could hear her convincing herself step by step not to try and kiss me, and telling herself she wanted to, well, let's just say I was glad she won the argument not to.

Better yet, let's just not talk about it. Some desires should not be fulfilled.