[Requiem] Three words
Jan. 10th, 2011 09:00 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
http://users.livejournal.com/_crimsonearth/ posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
writing_shadowsThree words.
Such a small thing. But it’s not, is it? How do you say it to someone who… who might not feel the same? Because, if you say it and they say it back – then you’ve cornered them into saying it, haven’t you? And then… it’s spoiled. Or – or if they don’t say anything, then… where do you go from there? What do you do? You might hope that they’re not saying it because they don’t want it to be reactionary – they recognise the problem with just saying it straight back, but there’ll always be this nagging suspicion that they didn’t say it right back because… they simply don’t feel it.
And – as much as you want to say it, and it’s not about who says it first, you don’t want to push them. If they come to it, you want them to come to it in their own time. When they’re ready. And saying it feels a little like pushing, doesn’t it? But it shouldn’t do. Saying it is just – God, it’s just saying what’s real. But, what if they’re ready, but they’re scared, just like you? And they’re waiting for you to be the one to be brave? Because – because you’ve been saying it for weeks – really – just, with different words. In everything you say and do, you’re saying it. So why can’t you actually… say it? Three words.
Why, every time it comes so naturally to you, do you have to bite your tongue and edit what comes out of your mouth? You can tell them that they’ve changed your world, that you can’t bear to be away from them, that they’ve given you a reason to live. But you can’t – just – say it.
Then again… maybe they don’t feel it. Maybe they feel all these things that you say to one another, but… it’s not quite the same. Maybe they don’t even believe in it – not now, not for us. Or maybe they do feel it, but they haven’t stopped and thought that that is what it is. And so by saying it, you’ll throw them into a spin – and then, in time, having thought about it, they’ll come back to you and say it back, but it’ll hurt you, because while you know in your heart of hearts, that’s just how they work, part of you is thinking ‘Why did they have to go and think about it to know that’s how they felt?’ Isn’t it – just the most natural thing in the world? I mean, it’s just – it’s just – three – words.
Simple. ...Right?
Such a small thing. But it’s not, is it? How do you say it to someone who… who might not feel the same? Because, if you say it and they say it back – then you’ve cornered them into saying it, haven’t you? And then… it’s spoiled. Or – or if they don’t say anything, then… where do you go from there? What do you do? You might hope that they’re not saying it because they don’t want it to be reactionary – they recognise the problem with just saying it straight back, but there’ll always be this nagging suspicion that they didn’t say it right back because… they simply don’t feel it.
And – as much as you want to say it, and it’s not about who says it first, you don’t want to push them. If they come to it, you want them to come to it in their own time. When they’re ready. And saying it feels a little like pushing, doesn’t it? But it shouldn’t do. Saying it is just – God, it’s just saying what’s real. But, what if they’re ready, but they’re scared, just like you? And they’re waiting for you to be the one to be brave? Because – because you’ve been saying it for weeks – really – just, with different words. In everything you say and do, you’re saying it. So why can’t you actually… say it? Three words.
Why, every time it comes so naturally to you, do you have to bite your tongue and edit what comes out of your mouth? You can tell them that they’ve changed your world, that you can’t bear to be away from them, that they’ve given you a reason to live. But you can’t – just – say it.
Then again… maybe they don’t feel it. Maybe they feel all these things that you say to one another, but… it’s not quite the same. Maybe they don’t even believe in it – not now, not for us. Or maybe they do feel it, but they haven’t stopped and thought that that is what it is. And so by saying it, you’ll throw them into a spin – and then, in time, having thought about it, they’ll come back to you and say it back, but it’ll hurt you, because while you know in your heart of hearts, that’s just how they work, part of you is thinking ‘Why did they have to go and think about it to know that’s how they felt?’ Isn’t it – just the most natural thing in the world? I mean, it’s just – it’s just – three – words.
Simple. ...Right?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}