(no subject)

[lucifermourning.livejournal.com]

Some days she really, really wanted to find out that this was all a bad dream. Other days she'd settle for finding out she'd gone completely batshit insane and was experiencing a number of vivid, but completely false, hallucinations.

Not that it was always bad. But then, even the things she liked - shifting, running through the woods, the sense of freedom that came in those moments - she couldn't tell if that was really her, or just one more of the instincts she'd suddenly acquired. A lot of things felt right on this gut level, when they went against all the things she used to think were right.

No.

That wasn't quite it.

She still knew that all hierarchies are fundamentally problematic, and fighting isn't really a very good way to solve problems and eating meat was nothing less than murdering feeling beings for selfish reasons. She knew it in her head.

But she used to be able to feel those things in a way that just...didn't any more.

And looking around. There were so many injustices that seemed fundamental to the way things worked with werewolves. Like the rules about wolf-blooded and packs. Just the way things were, and nothing anybody could do to change it.

Of course, there was some fucked up shit that didn't have to be that way.

Even if her instincts kept telling her that there needed to be this...hierarchy...that someone needed to be...in charge...

There was no reason at all that anyone should get away with treating Alessa the way she'd talked about the wolves in Reading treating her.

And all the shit Solace and Fortinbras said about religion and having to be somehow subservient. Even if it wasn't their words, the meaning was there.

None of it had to be that way.

She just couldn't figure out what to do about it.