(Lost) Lucan

[artys-quill.livejournal.com]

"Lucan isn't like that, you just don't understand him"

Sally's right but I don't know if I want to understand. The thought actually frightens me a little, to get closer to him when he's killed another lost in cold blood from the shadows. Perhaps the Colonel couldn't be redeemed and his death was warranted by the monarch of  White Haven, but a quick message or discussion before vanishing would at least help me understand or maybe I'm just naive enough to think that everyone can be saved. 

We should at least try and save everyone no?

..........

Does Lucan need saving?

Loyalties

[annwfyn.livejournal.com]

( Ruth on loyalty and the Invictus. Possibly first in a train of thoughts )

Reflections

[lucifermourning.livejournal.com]

The thing that bothered her was that it didn’t bother her.

She had no real doubts about either decision – but the second one had hurt. Going over the sequence of events…if L.A. had said something sooner... The girl hadn’t even confided in her coterie, of course. Poppy hadn’t known, at least from what Maya could tell. If she had, perhaps something could have been done. L.A. had had potential. There was a point where she could have been saved. She was a child who had gone too far into things she couldn’t comprehend. So she had to be destroyed. And that hurt.

It had been necessary though, and Maya had made hard decisions before. The pain afterward was a kind of salve, an acknowledgement that she was still human.

That was the problem. She wasn’t human anymore, no matter how hard she fought. There was a thing inside of her, clawing, looking for an opening. And, for the first time, it had won a battle.

They’d talked about the subject too, and she’d thought she’d convinced him to try to fight. Not to surrender like so many seemed content to do. But apparently he was a particularly clever monster, underneath it all.

All she could feel was rage. She was angry for L.A., because Chance had dragged her down with him, for Radiohead, who had just been in the wrong place at the wrong time. She even felt sorry for Galfridus.

And for herself, for believing him for so long. She’d supported him, had never accepted the accusations, not until the end. Not that she’d trusted him, not really. But he was the first member of that damned covenant she’d really had any personal respect for.

After all of that, she should at least feel some sorrow, some regret that it was all a lie. Instead, anger. Anger and satisfaction.