October challenge - Yom Kippur

[akonken.livejournal.com]

We are raised, Conditioned Servitors, to be secular but with a great deal of religious education. While it is rare for us to serve members of the Crone or Lance, it is not impossible. Indeed, I served members of both. Quite well, and leaving me quite fond.

I must admit, atonement (and the holidays regard them) was not something I was interested in when I was alive. We are trained only to doubt ourselves when our employer wishes it. Otherwise we are resolute in our beliefs and intentions – although of course these are moulded for each Domitor we serve.

But now, of course, I am a completely different creature. Each new day I discover a part of this me, some of which I love and some of which I loathe.

Loathing myself is a new experience for me. Wanting to confess, to atone, is a desire I feel but don’t fully understand.

This, I think, is why I had that intense, frank – but frankly confused and confusing – conversation with young Sacha (is he sweet? I bet he is sweet), and why I tried to explain what I was (or wasn’t, as the case may be) to Lucy. All this honesty is atonement. I am exposing myself in some sort of mental self-flagellation.

I am sorry. I am sorry. But who do I say I’m sorry to?

On my way to where the air is sweet! (October challenge)

[akonken.livejournal.com]

Today I am making a cake.

Well, I am not making it. All by myself, I mean. But I am buying it. And I am telling the baker how to decorate it.

How things look is very important.

I will pick it up tomorrow when I wake up, and I will put on I Will Survive on repeat, and I will dance around my apartment. Hopefully Freddie will eat some cake too.

Tomorrow is the birthday of somebody very important to me. He has been one of my biggest role models, and for most of my life.

Tomorrow is Grover’s birthday.

Happy birthday, Grover!

Sunny day sweepin' the clouds away, on my way to where the air is sweet! Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street? Come and play, everything's A-OK! Friendly neighbours there, that's where we meet. Can you tell me how to get how to get to Sesame Street? It's a magic carpet ride; every door will open wide to happy people like you – happy people like – what a beautiful sunny day, sweepin' the clouds away, on my way to where the air is sweet! Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street?

[Forsaken] - Weighed in the Balance

[lslaw.livejournal.com]

( Weighed in the Balance )