We wish to make a complaint. We ordered a God King and got Ten Ordo....

[kathminchin.livejournal.com]

From the weekend.

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[Harm] Aftermath

[captured-dreams.livejournal.com]

 Bloody fucking Lodge of bloody fucking Prophesy. How did he know? How could he have sent that raven to me if he didn’t know I was close enough to jump in? Did he know she’d die, would he have told her if he did? Was he just trying to safeguard the key, or get it for himself, or did he force this situation? After all these years did he just force us into this situation? What was he trying to achieve? Did he even know it was me as he pulled me from the Rage? Did he think he was dead already? He would have been if I hadn’t reacted so instinctively when he collapsed. Did he trust that I’d save his stinking life? I didn’t. Why did I? I could have just let him die in that second, it wouldn’t have been by my hand, I could have ended it all. All the fear, all that creeping dread, the resentment and the anger. He would have been out of my life forever and I would have been free at last. Why couldn’t I have just let him die right there. Why couldn’t I let myself do everything in my power to save him? Why did I so instinctively leap right into the middle of that fight without the time to even start my battle prep just to protect him? How could I even bring myself to protect him? Why me? Why now? Why like this? I can’t even punch your lights out. You’re too close to the edge. I want to rip your heart out you crazy bastard but I’m struggling not to break down in tears at the concept of loosing you. How can you do this to me? I have a new life, a family, I actually was happy there for w while and you have to bring everything back crashing down on my face. And you have to bring my packmate into it too! She’s dead at your feet and it’s your fault. Why is she here? Why did she have to be here? There’s only two of us left. I’m the Rahu. I’m meant to protect you guys, but you keep slipping away from me. I owe you the world for putting up with me, putting me back together, you four and Sheena… now you’re all dead bar Jay. I can’t even manage payback for Ben. Six months it’s been now and I can’t get the job done. What does that make me? Is this the life you trained me for? Is this what you saw your only child becoming? Has all my running done a damn thing or will you always be pulling my strings? Why can’t you just be dead already? I’m not even raging. I’m always full of the anger, the wild tempest and right now… I’m just numb.

“Don’t you die on me you bastard. Don’t you fucking dare die on me.”

She didn’t even feel the pain of her own war wounds as she sat, listening to the sound of Jala’s voice preforming the Rite, covered in her Father’s blood.