[Forsaken] Reflections

[autumn-skald.livejournal.com]

OOC: A short Forsaken piece on the aftermath of the Breathstealer thing.

Reflections

Her skin was healed now, Jala had worked her usual magic on her and the grievous wounds that the Idigam had dealt her were gone now. She sat on Arthur’s Seat, it was cold but that was alright, she didn’t mind the cold so much and it also meant that there wasn’t really anyone around and right now she didn’t want any company.

Jala had said if she wanted to talk that she was there, but Sheena didn’t know how to talk to her about what she was currently feeling. She was alive again where younger Uratha had fallen and she was tired. Tired of watching so many people she knew die, people with families and things to care about. She didn’t have that much left to live for, the fact that her death might led to the deaths of others was one of the main things that kept her going.

It was strange but death in some ways didn’t bother her, she had doled out plenty of it in all the time she had been a werewolf, but the thing you could never get entirely used to was the deaths of the people around you, the ones you work with and care for. Even this time when none of those who died had been people she was particularly close to. Resolute Fury had been someone she could rely on and someone who Alisdair cared for and Lennie, he’d seemed like a good man. Wren, she was far too new and that one stung the most. As for the other two, well the most she could say is that they died well.

There had been some talk on the boat, before Sheena had sought the comfort and silence of watching the waves, various werewolves talking about the future and such and so many seemed to want to die in their beds. But that was something she’d never wished for, not for a long time. In some ways she envied the dead, their tales would be told for centuries to come. Sure, she’d earned great glory in the past but… somehow it wasn’t enough and until the Harvester was gone she just couldn’t take the risks she wanted.

A part of her knew it wasn’t a good sign. When what you wanted the most was a glorious death you could end up getting others killed by being foolish. But then part of it was more that she didn’t want others dying for her. She couldn’t even fathom how Mal must feel, surviving the fight against Breathstealer where others had died. Maybe he didn’t care, but she doubted that. For all his bravado and sheer Storm Lord arrogance he wasn’t that cold inside.

Whatever happened now, whatever way was found to destroy the Harvester forever, Sheena knew that she would accept no one dying for it but her. This was her tribe’s mistake, her family’s mistake. She would be the one to pay whatever price was needed to fix it.