[Lost] Summer in Paris

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Rose looked out at the night sky. Behind her Sam made whimpering sounds still, although he had stopped alternately mumbling and shouting for now. It seemed to help when she hummed to him in his sleep, so she had done so both nights so far. But now she had some time to herself.

She had spent so much time trying desperately to have fun, trying not to worry, trying to be joyful. It wasn't working, she knew that, but she tried anyway. She kept saying how much fun she was having. Anyway, sometimes it didn't matter if everyone knew what you said was a lie. The important thing was that you said it.

Everything Sam was doing was lovely, and she felt a boor for not enjoying it as much as she knew she should. Her heart wasn't in it, and they all knew why.

Three o'clock in the morning it was now, and Stitches still hadn't called her. She'd tried to call him twice (although he'd told her not to), but as he'd told her it would be, his phone was off. In a little while she'd try to sleep and see if she could find his dream. She hadn't had much luck with that yet.

Rose looked out at the night sky. Three in the morning it might be, but she could still hear voices in the street, faint because they were so far below the suites the four had paired up in. She glanced at the next balcony, but the other room was dark. Rosie and Aria must have been tired too.

She looked down at the people moving below, her worry vanishing for a moment as she gently smiled at the distant but vibrant humans. She was tempted to join them, just a little, but in the end she was too timid and too wrapped up in her own problems. And, in the end, she was not one of them.

Rose looked out at the night sky. The sky was the same everywhere. That was part of what Stitches had said to her once, the thing that resonated most, that comforted her whenever she was apart from him. And at least she knew it covered him too, and that would have to be comfort enough.

[Lost]...in Disneyland

[akonken.livejournal.com]

I don't think I like Disneyland.

It isn't that it isn't nice; it is. People seem very happy here, all the families and couples. There's a lot of bustle and laughter all around me.

I just don't understand it. There is a dissonance, like a bell ringing inside me, making the bark that is my skin ache. It's been a little while since I've felt this way so clearly, so achingly.

I don't like the mouse. He seems wrong to me - too rounded, too bright. Where is his whip-like tail? And I don't understand what all these people are dressed as. I don't understand. It seems frustratingly wrong.

But it is not that this place is wrong, it is that I am.

And I always will be.