Carrie's embrace (in poetry form)

[annwfyn.livejournal.com]

What the fuck do you put in a suicide note?
"I'm sorry"? Screw that. I am not
Sorry for any of the things that I have done.
I lived my life, for good or ill.
(OK, so it was mostly for ill, as it turned out)
Still, it was my life, my choices.
Too late for regret.

So this time there won't be a note. Just a needle.
That seems appropriate, somehow.
I'll die the way I've lived these last couple of years.
I spent the rent money on smack.
Guess the landlord will have to suck it up this time
Instead of me sucking him off
And that makes me smile.

But first, a fire. To burn every photo I own.
I won't leave anything behind.
And somehow that makes it all final; this one act.
Like it's me going up in smoke
Dead before the needle even hits my forearm.
Nothing left to remember me
All gone now, dearie.

The needle doesn't even sting when it goes in.
I don't feel a thing any more.
I'm just so fucking tired; this is like sleeping -
The sleep I've been denied so long.
And man, it feels good. I don't even listen to
The banging at the front door as
'Liza breaks it down.